What can I say to make today's post intrinsic? Intriguing? Interesting? I don't know. But I immensely apologize if this won't be a "happy day" entry like some would like it to be. But I will iterate one thing that made me stay sane today :).
Since just starting blogging once again, I will not go into much detail about myself or the day at hand that is ending in a couple of hours. Thus, I will make a short spicule of a speech....Today was just not one of those days like yesterday was. Yesterday I felt calmer and much more at peace, despite the troubles that the weekend brought about. Today I felt more troubled. I sensed a distraction. I was thinking what had happened at the end of the week and the start of the weekend last week. Something (for which I will not go into detail about) happened, something I thought unimaginable. Today just plain stunk. Even during my classes (which I should be paying attention in) I felt a bit depressed. I tried letting go of the past few days to focus on given priorities of the day. But nothing seemed to work, so I wallowed, almost even crying at what's been going on lately. The lack of enthuiastic opportunity of priorities could have been caused by the lack of food and drink today too. I ate rather light today as compared to most days. A mixture of mental lacking and physical energetic exhaustion is a bad combination, haha. However, I didn't eat light because I was depressed, was just one of those days I wanted to keep the expenditures to a minimum. Not a bad idea in this day and age right now, huh?
So with all that in the mud, my troublesome thoughts wouldn't leave. I can say this, I just don't know what I'm even doing anymore, whether right or wrong (not all the time, but just lately). Why I felt more at peace yesterday, I cannot fully comprehend why. But I can understand to some degree that God was giving me some measure of small peace yesterday, as I didn't completely shut myself off then. I didn't get that today so much, but that's the good that came out of today. God was here today, I felt him. Though, I did not fully acknowledge the fact I felt His presence. But listening to worship, praises of the voice and heart, caused me to concentrate on the thought of all His glory even at the slightest, despite this pit of depression I fell in today. Even as I'm writing now, the thought of hoping in a God that cannot be seen, but felt and experienced in so many occult, yet harmonous ways, brings a smile to my lips, as they purse together and stretch out to give me the elation I been wanting...needing all day. God is the Lord of my life, and I'm thankful He hasn't left me. There's today's good. But I admit, I still am struggling with all the insanity, but I won't fret about it any longer for now, seeing how I go back to square one every inch of every word I talk about it. But I do know this, He is working to better everything, even if I cannot see right now.
So I bid every adu for now, until next post.
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