Today's Non-Existant Lime Light

What can I say to make today's post intrinsic? Intriguing? Interesting? I don't know. But I immensely apologize if this won't be a "happy day" entry like some would like it to be. But I will iterate one thing that made me stay sane today :).

Since just starting blogging once again, I will not go into much detail about myself or the day at hand that is ending in a couple of hours. Thus, I will make a short spicule of a speech....Today was just not one of those days like yesterday was. Yesterday I felt calmer and much more at peace, despite the troubles that the weekend brought about. Today I felt more troubled. I sensed a distraction. I was thinking what had happened at the end of the week and the start of the weekend last week. Something (for which I will not go into detail about) happened, something I thought unimaginable. Today just plain stunk. Even during my classes (which I should be paying attention in) I felt a bit depressed. I tried letting go of the past few days to focus on given priorities of the day. But nothing seemed to work, so I wallowed, almost even crying at what's been going on lately. The lack of enthuiastic opportunity of priorities could have been caused by the lack of food and drink today too. I ate rather light today as compared to most days. A mixture of mental lacking and physical energetic exhaustion is a bad combination, haha. However, I didn't eat light because I was depressed, was just one of those days I wanted to keep the expenditures to a minimum. Not a bad idea in this day and age right now, huh?

So with all that in the mud, my troublesome thoughts wouldn't leave. I can say this, I just don't know what I'm even doing anymore, whether right or wrong (not all the time, but just lately). Why I felt more at peace yesterday, I cannot fully comprehend why. But I can understand to some degree that God was giving me some measure of small peace yesterday, as I didn't completely shut myself off then. I didn't get that today so much, but that's the good that came out of today. God was here today, I felt him. Though, I did not fully acknowledge the fact I felt His presence. But listening to worship, praises of the voice and heart, caused me to concentrate on the thought of all His glory even at the slightest, despite this pit of depression I fell in today. Even as I'm writing now, the thought of hoping in a God that cannot be seen, but felt and experienced in so many occult, yet harmonous ways, brings a smile to my lips, as they purse together and stretch out to give me the elation I been wanting...needing all day. God is the Lord of my life, and I'm thankful He hasn't left me. There's today's good. But I admit, I still am struggling with all the insanity, but I won't fret about it any longer for now, seeing how I go back to square one every inch of every word I talk about it. But I do know this, He is working to better everything, even if I cannot see right now.

So I bid every adu for now, until next post.

Just starting

So why have I decided to start something like this? Hmm. Well it has been a while since I done stuff like this (on xanga), but stopped for a long while. I thought it would be fun to restart up blogging stuff, about anything and everything, whether personal, public, general, specific, etc. Also a friend started a blogspot recently, so I was like, "eh, what the hay..." So here I am.

So all of you are probably wondering why the heck I picked such a darkening name for my blogspot site and display...Well I tend to be an emotional (and I mean an emotional) person with varying degrees of dark, cloudy thoughts running through my head, but at the sametime, I get happy easily and do things that can be positive. So hence Virulent (or bitter) and Elation (happiness). I like to compare my personality and passions to the enlightened French philosophe (French for philosopher), Jean-Jacques Rousseau. He was an emotional person whose passions of enlightened thought greatly affected 18th century thought and the French Revolution (his work is evident in the 19th century and so on too).

I too am an emotional person as I stated already. However, I do admit that my passions possibly will never affect a revolution of those sorts, but I do have passions that do affect people nonetheless. My personality and thoughts can be best expressed through what I do, writing, more so poetry than anything else. So this blogspot will not be only about all the above mentioned experiences, but also a new place to just put my poems in. So this is my new "poetry studio." (Xanga used to be).

With that short, yet winged introduction said, I bid everyone a good day for the time being until my next post :).

P.S. the title "Amiable Vacuity" I guess relates to my display name description. I have a mysterious good nature to myself. (goes back to my positive side I suppose)