Continuance of a delaying pause.

Hello fellow reader. I return for a brief moment to spare several more lines from my last entry. Forgive me of my dreadful timing. It has been quite hard keeping track of time, especially with finals now only a week or so away. But without further delay, I will start from the last hurtful paragraph.

Digging into the hole a bit deeper, the past pains resurface as I begin to examine them yet again. Once I blow that dust that's re-accumulated on the dig sight, witnessing them once more is but a blight to my heart. But I will go on. You see, I cannot begin to fathom what happened on that fateful day a couple months ago now. The sudden disconnect, the ever so swift of a shocking discovery. My friend is gone from my life. I cannot even ponder with straight thoughts what exactly happened. There are all these assumptions I have been dwelling on, and a few paradigms to which I can experiment with...but they all come out inconclusive. All I can do is pray for an answer to come. But I will write on this no more. However, I will finish it off by saying, I will continue to have hope and faith. *wipes tears from his eyes*

I bid you all a du. The last two weeks of school beckon me.

Time to Spare this Hour, An unnerving feeling of a Pause

Konichiwa friends. I finally have the hour to fill out some lines with words of information and contemplation. It has been a while since my last entry. Oh what a blight it has been with being busy with many things. My studious academics is a factor, but other things have run this person's life amok for the last month and a half. However, not everything has been, how would you say...dreadful. Everything has been more or less, a delightful stress. Yet, in this moment of what time I have before my class today, I am making a thoughtful inquiry to say several lines of everything. To what extent I will share of events will vary, as my time is limited. Oh when will make time for a detailed narrative?! That is in my nature I suppose. Anyways, I am done ranting for this introduction. Onward, as my Ethnic Groups in Urban American history professor would say!

Since my last brief writing adventure, I have been busy with readings and the like as far as my academics are concerned. I have been making virulent impacts on my studies for the last several weeks. Unfortunately, I have not been on top of everything. For one, since my midterms, I have not been doing as much of my readings as I should have been. This has become a tendency in my academic career. The first half, I am on top of everything, then the last half, I gradually lag. Second, I have put my last couple major writing assignments until the last minute, which caused me to stress. Yet, surprisingly, I still put effort into those dastardly writing assignments, and felt more proud.

However, with the stress these plights have brought me or I to them, I have still managed and have remained in good shape. Third, the last of my assignments is currently in full operation. Two major research papers are but before me, which I am on top of. My pen and mind are doing all that they can to slaughter the dragons! I am taking advantage of the few weeks of school I have left for the Spring Semester to take them little by little. Lastly, finals approach at the same time. I will also be preparing for those as well. With all of this in mind, everything is a stressful load, but with my strategic paradigm, taking things little by little, I will conquer these last few weeks! Hopefully this revolution goes well and succeeds!

On a more personal level, it has been mixed. A few things have been going through my mind and in my life. For the sake of privacy, I will not go into full detail. Even though I am trying to impact in this life with my words, I believe with privacy, the vacuity in my language will make some type of dent. In the midst of my studies, I recently lost a friend. This sudden occurrence has been detrimental and hurtful. Even thinking of it now, the sting is as painful as it was when I first experienced it. It happened so rapidly that, the sudden persecutive feeling that I am not worthy has altered my performance to some extent.

Forgive me my dear reader, I have lost my train of thought, and must return to this later. My coherence has been affected by the thought of such a recent event. I must pause because of this.Also because I am out of time..

I bid you adu for now.

Week out; Week in

Hola amigos! I am back. Shall I owe this beautiful night to? Sickness! Yes! I am a tad sick with an upset stomach. Disgusting, This is what I do not need right now. Just that time of the year when the body is easily penetrated and bodily defenses mean nothing. Well almost.

But at any rate, not too much has gone on throughout the week. All I can say is is that being sick right before midterms is but a blight. It is difficult to study, to focus, to make an impact on academics. I dread every moment of it. I could hardly focus on Saturday; Friday has to do with it too. I studied for nine hours! Woe is me! I obviously reaped what I sowed! I studied so hard, the rest of my weekend was pernicous. I hate it. Plus having an upset stomach is leaving me in agonizing paralysis, that studying my academics is no more enjoyable than the pain I am experiencing. I am hoping for a better week.

This last week stunk because of my physical iniquities, but also because I was not able to hang out with my friend from the event I went to last weekend. Such a plight. Not that there won't be future opportunities, just it would have been nice if I saw her today. But I guess it was for the best today, being sick. But I did want to invite her to church, which I never got an opportunity to communicate to her. *Sigh* I reap what I sow. Well, she is busy with her doctorate degree. It is a couple levels higher than my undergraduate degree. I shouldn't fret about this, right? I will try to look forward to the future.

That is all I am willing to share for now. I bid everyone adu for tonight.

A return to the new era at hand! A Quick read you shall have

Hello fellow reader! I apologize for putting my blog off for the longest time. I had not formed a word or sounded my thoughts onto this website in some time. Firstly, let me welcome the new year on this post (even though it is 3 months into 2011!). Secondly, for the sake of personal time and moving on, I will not be posting my "2010 revolution" of my history any time soon. I know, I know. I am supposed to be reflecting my entries as a cry out to express passion and change in my life, as my dear enlightment French philosophe (whom I like to compare myself to) did in 19th century Europe; the revolution of social change he took part in! But for now I will hold off on that, seeing how I cannot make the time to do so, but I will make cry outs about ongoing current events.

Here is a brief paragraph of the new era in my own personal life. In January, I took a break from my academic instituion, and allowed my mind to rest. During this time I had much personal reflection time, and much time to enjoy myself as a vegetable. I enjoyed things I had put off for so long, such as reading and watching anime! I even continued for a short time, a story that is in slow progression. But now? School and work! I have been busy, and midterms approach soon. This semester is rather more enjoyable than last, seeing how I have adjusted in recent months as compared to last. Spring semester has been busy, yet enjoyable. I have gone to a Winter Youth Camp with my church's youth group; helping out there in the mountains of winter beauty was refreshing. Finally, going to a concert last weekend with a friend was rather a special time to connect with her and praise our almighty God. On that note, there  maybe some interest in this friend of mine I am taking to rather quite well. But for now, I will remain friends, but would like to see where things go from here. Hopefully in the coming weeks, I hope we shall continue to converse and unfoil our personal adventures as time goes on. This is all I shall unveil for now. Hopefully, I will continue my cries from within me later this week.

But for now, I bid everyone adu and farewell!

-Virulent Elation

Time is passing, embracing it before it dwindles

Ah! It is evening! What shall I owe this day to do? Too much apparently. Nay, the week! The week has had a lot going on already even though it is Monday! I return to make a quick entry about my life. It has been a while since I made anything on here. A lot has been going on, too many details, so much to cover, yet time is precious to me right now.

I am just relaxing on this wonderful evening in a library not too far from home, while I await for a friend to finish revising a paper of mine that I shall behead for no physical gelders at all. Boo. But what can I put in this entry that does not include so much as half a glass of water of my life? In other words, not being too specific for the time being as what has been going on? Well, I shall say this much. I have been better in the past days, somewhat. I still am a bit depressed, but am content to some extent, because God's hand is on my shoulder (whichever shoulder you want to think of). But I am smiling, because there are not things I cannot control in my own life 100% of the time. That is a fact my dear reader. But this week is finals week for this starving college student. I am almost half through fortunately. This past weekend I spent day and night working on papers. Oh the fun in spending a weekend. I thought it wouldn't end, the weekend that is. But I am glad it is behind me as I am progressing towards completion. Soon to come, grades. For I am hoping I am passing all my classes. Two of which I am uncertain about.

Among other things, as I iterated moments ago, I shall make a cry out about them later. In which, I might cry. Because recent events have been hard on me. And the "revolution" that followed it thus, impacted one other, and many others for that matter. A change has been made in my history. But for now, I will move onto other things.

Till next time, I bit you, my fellow reader, adu and good day.

Today's Non-Existant Lime Light

What can I say to make today's post intrinsic? Intriguing? Interesting? I don't know. But I immensely apologize if this won't be a "happy day" entry like some would like it to be. But I will iterate one thing that made me stay sane today :).

Since just starting blogging once again, I will not go into much detail about myself or the day at hand that is ending in a couple of hours. Thus, I will make a short spicule of a speech....Today was just not one of those days like yesterday was. Yesterday I felt calmer and much more at peace, despite the troubles that the weekend brought about. Today I felt more troubled. I sensed a distraction. I was thinking what had happened at the end of the week and the start of the weekend last week. Something (for which I will not go into detail about) happened, something I thought unimaginable. Today just plain stunk. Even during my classes (which I should be paying attention in) I felt a bit depressed. I tried letting go of the past few days to focus on given priorities of the day. But nothing seemed to work, so I wallowed, almost even crying at what's been going on lately. The lack of enthuiastic opportunity of priorities could have been caused by the lack of food and drink today too. I ate rather light today as compared to most days. A mixture of mental lacking and physical energetic exhaustion is a bad combination, haha. However, I didn't eat light because I was depressed, was just one of those days I wanted to keep the expenditures to a minimum. Not a bad idea in this day and age right now, huh?

So with all that in the mud, my troublesome thoughts wouldn't leave. I can say this, I just don't know what I'm even doing anymore, whether right or wrong (not all the time, but just lately). Why I felt more at peace yesterday, I cannot fully comprehend why. But I can understand to some degree that God was giving me some measure of small peace yesterday, as I didn't completely shut myself off then. I didn't get that today so much, but that's the good that came out of today. God was here today, I felt him. Though, I did not fully acknowledge the fact I felt His presence. But listening to worship, praises of the voice and heart, caused me to concentrate on the thought of all His glory even at the slightest, despite this pit of depression I fell in today. Even as I'm writing now, the thought of hoping in a God that cannot be seen, but felt and experienced in so many occult, yet harmonous ways, brings a smile to my lips, as they purse together and stretch out to give me the elation I been wanting...needing all day. God is the Lord of my life, and I'm thankful He hasn't left me. There's today's good. But I admit, I still am struggling with all the insanity, but I won't fret about it any longer for now, seeing how I go back to square one every inch of every word I talk about it. But I do know this, He is working to better everything, even if I cannot see right now.

So I bid every adu for now, until next post.

Just starting

So why have I decided to start something like this? Hmm. Well it has been a while since I done stuff like this (on xanga), but stopped for a long while. I thought it would be fun to restart up blogging stuff, about anything and everything, whether personal, public, general, specific, etc. Also a friend started a blogspot recently, so I was like, "eh, what the hay..." So here I am.

So all of you are probably wondering why the heck I picked such a darkening name for my blogspot site and display...Well I tend to be an emotional (and I mean an emotional) person with varying degrees of dark, cloudy thoughts running through my head, but at the sametime, I get happy easily and do things that can be positive. So hence Virulent (or bitter) and Elation (happiness). I like to compare my personality and passions to the enlightened French philosophe (French for philosopher), Jean-Jacques Rousseau. He was an emotional person whose passions of enlightened thought greatly affected 18th century thought and the French Revolution (his work is evident in the 19th century and so on too).

I too am an emotional person as I stated already. However, I do admit that my passions possibly will never affect a revolution of those sorts, but I do have passions that do affect people nonetheless. My personality and thoughts can be best expressed through what I do, writing, more so poetry than anything else. So this blogspot will not be only about all the above mentioned experiences, but also a new place to just put my poems in. So this is my new "poetry studio." (Xanga used to be).

With that short, yet winged introduction said, I bid everyone a good day for the time being until my next post :).

P.S. the title "Amiable Vacuity" I guess relates to my display name description. I have a mysterious good nature to myself. (goes back to my positive side I suppose)